9:15 am Monday 2/9/26
In so much the interstellar spectacular reaches joy
Surrendering
The forecast prominent
I am delighted
In a life I truly love waking up to
In pursuit by the will of an optimism that comes from and for by faith alone
but the proof of its passion, is in the works surrounding me.
And as it all takes shape
I find out continuously
what it takes to build such things
my life
confident and capable
whats crafted
Without bypass
So many things hidden
textured wet in sketchbooks soaked in backpacks where things once spilled
Binders
Beats and their bruises
Hard drives full of audacity
Conversations
The Reason files
freestyles
Notes, pages, papers, lectures
Nocturnal admissions unsterile
Their feral scribbles
Satiated and delighted by moments I felt them holy
and then forgotten
How may I escape the snares and rotten traps which block view.
How do I soften
And to summit this year
that mountain
L O VE S P A C 3
a/k/a Brandon Blaine Epstein
May I release my files un-redacted.
Granted gourmet through garments made new
able to correctly be uninhibited
To full send journey rendered solid
Foundations
Fitted
All efforts unmasked and rejoiced
Improvised
FORMALIZED
By TASKS / STANDARDS / AND SYSTEMS
- allowed -
May these be the walls to my home.
May I be systemic.
————————————-
In my last blog post I somewhat referenced the systems and standards that are changing or getting built around and upon what is of the foundation to my life.
—-
You see the way I grew up I used to be a bit free range
No fencing
No sentencing me to be confined by any sort of space or ideology and the monotony of any main stream suburban hope had little impact on the autonomy I soaked and spoke through
I always felt a schism like an I had a type of autism when I had to do things without my own purpose to steer it and so I usually had just ignored things that caused interference and my father most certainly gave me the clearance and the adherence to something greater has been a challenge in my life because I so easily made myself comfortable to be truant
When I was older and I needed amphetamines like aderrall or vast efforts and terrors in order to adhere to the rules of time and space——
And I thank god for the past decade,
A journey of learning to center my gravity into what actually holds and carries me fourth
able bodied
to be in a place and to do its things made by god for wills determined coherent
I will be obedient
To render myself useful.
I will get my life together, lol.
I reminded my ex girlfriend’s mom of some of her autistic students, She said “Brandon needs systems” She was right. And my whole life I had this idea of how I wanted to go about each day and do the things I’ve meant to, and finally after 37 years I have developed a system that is working for me. I have a certain amount of points to achieve in a day, there are things that give me negative points, and things that can give me ex credit. It’s simple and unique to me, and last week I got an A for the first time since starting it in September.
Its amazing how better my life feels. And how much I have been able to focus on. And I will continue to see where it takes me, as the system is still slowly changing and evolving.
There have been many periods of times of my life, all with different routines, habits systems, and claims,
I feel like I’m finally putting all the best things together into one day, each day, to find strength in my weaknesses, and chop wood carry water. Praise god.
And if I can continue to do this, I think all of the extents of my art that are seeking creation and to be formalized and figured out will have opportunity to do so.
So may thy art be made, even if only for the sake of the act.
And if so I will rejoice in the achieving of failure.
As an artist in the digital world, the year of our lord 2026
To do the things
That I’m meant to
and to put the files together.
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